I hate your face
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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