Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
