I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
