Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think I died a long time ago.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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