I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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