dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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