So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This is the high leading the old right now
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
