Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
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