Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
In America we eat man semen.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
