Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
