billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
