I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
