I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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