we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
