Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
