I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
