I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
