just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
