i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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