He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
