I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
