He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Dick very happy bro
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
