You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
