OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
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Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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