I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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