hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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