Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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