He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
