i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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