I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
