in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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