once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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