just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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