i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
