In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize