Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
