Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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