PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
