I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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