you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
