You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
