I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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