you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
