so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
