im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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