it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
50% drunk capacity currently
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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