Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
