Just cropdusted the office
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
