His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
