well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
