We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
