The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
