I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
