my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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